All of this happened in one day.
My head is splitting yet I am working again ,this Sunday.
Work was chaotic despite my short shift but the gratefull-ness was all in the air.
The funeral crashed my spirit . I do not like funerals because the Carebear in me cant' activate my light and hug/love on everyone.I saw the deceased less than 20 hours before they passed. I was the last one to show to the house ...they cried and said they are going to sleep. She was my ex's Grandmother. She was a spit fire. In our first meeting she READ ME FOR FILTH about my hair.... this black girl never ever again went without my hair looking together ever again. I was confident I could be a shoulder to lean on ...then I saw the ex. He had a female guest and I made sure to speak loudly so there would be no un-ease and made sure that I kept the conversation short....I did my part now the rest of the family made me feel like Beyonce. Long story short, I made it through the thirds song and lost it. First time I cried but it was a beautiful River.
Now time to get my Mother for the babyshower. I looked at my mom as if I just met her. SO friggin stunning and she is how I learned alot about fabric, fit, presentation,make up, hair etc. We make it to the birthday party and I was kid chaos. I sat in my seat and saw my immediate fam which brings the biggest smile. Me and the family joked and laughed the entire time. One toddler was loving all the treats, the other......she is a late blooming introvert like her Tia ; )I saw my three adopted nieces and nephews which I made sure I smiled and showed so much love to ....the way they looked at me when they left so full of wonder and excitement . It made me think about what this 2 hours meant to them.
In between the funeral and birthday part travel....my Nephew was born ....7lbs. I saw the message as they released the doves at the funerals ...it was beautiful.
As my head was pounding ,my emotions high, my mother peacefully sleep in my new car....My mother, the epitome of Southern Women loves to be passenger seat driver was so happy and filled with joy she slept the ENTIRE drive.
As I played my Beyonce " All I Could Do is Cry", I needed a huge hug.
God is gentle, kind, jealous,and a comedian ... It was a week I have never had before with even more weird things that happen but I accepted the lesson . Life has to continue but it has to have balance ....Death of one leads to a life for one .
I accept it but it still stings.
Love to all of those we have lost and loved. Prayers to those who haven't healed nor understand the love of a child or their title as a parent ..
I love on all of you with everything I got .
Comments