So a heffa' had the same past lover in a dream for 3 nights! 3 f**king nights, that's probably why I have a sinus infection. My immune system was fighting of demons and allergies of f*ck people!.
Now it wasn't like a day dream, biiiiiiihhhhh it was some Keith Sweat and Boys II Men apologizing in three different cities. And I fought them the first night , I am talking Natalie Nun and Flo but without them fighting back. It was kind of hot seeing me turn into Creed and then eating snacks afterward. Call it ratchet I call in sweet victory !
Anyways , I no longer speak to this demon nor have I seen them in years. When I tell it was a complete methadone clinic, cold turkey,cold shower, purge, and Beyonce album -move on it was. I was totally enthralled with their presence,our time together, the security , and how they seemed to think I was so amazing .... the only problem is ... so did about 5+ other ladies. Whom played part in the demise of a great friendship.
In hindsight ,it was "Lethario"'s role and obsession for admiration from ladies due to the lack of self control and self worth without a vagina or bath & bodywork fragrances.That I learned later to have my confidence lessened, social anxiety worsened, and ability to the see the great in people I have a relationship with for years. You really think you know a person .....wait until you are in a group setting and there is alcohol!!!!!!! The truth and announcements of the creations of lies come out . The group setting ,alcohol , and women ...a lot of them caused one of the worst nights of my life. It was a celebration !I was there supporting one of my best friends ,another year of his life. I was so excited to see my other best friend whom I love dearly . I have never been in love before but if that was any ounce of it .....God help me ,Girl !. Kids, grandmas , co -workers, and unknown friends were present which in my upbringing,you behave to the upmost and give off great energy. Well those rules were no where to be found in anyone but me that night . As I still get the sage and crystals to not have the same dreams as the last few days ,present day , I wont go into toooo much detail. I have told my therapists.. 3 of them ..and my best friends ..I bore my soul and its a trigger for me . The night ended with unknown girl #6 telling me about her sex-capades & claim on my former lover ....
For the people in the back , if you had known someone for close to 10 years and there has been six ladies calling, showing up to your job, giving you details about your relationship with this person that they shouldn't know. They went out of their way ...I mean from another state/city to tell me how they have now claimed this former lover. Meanwhile , we are in different states, do not talk as often, dating other people, came out the closet...again.There was a lot of life going on but the love never left.Until that night.I prayed and held them to the upmost respect. The calmness was always a haven for me , just being physically close to them I knew nothing can "touch me " Romantically it never worked out but I always wished love and happiness for them . Genuinely . I checked on them often, pried a bit make sure they spoke about their life and experiences. ...now to be reminded 5 years later that they are the enemy . ..
Pt.2 coming soon ...once I sing "Resentment " and "I Care(Roseland )" one more time and calm tf down : (