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So a heffa' had the same past lover in a dream for 3 nights! 3 f**king nights, that's probably why I have a sinus infection. My immune system was fighting of demons and allergies of f*ck people!.

Now it wasn't like a day dream, biiiiiiihhhhh it was some Keith Sweat and Boys II Men apologizing in three different cities. And I fought them the first night , I am talking Natalie Nun and Flo but without them fighting back. It was kind of hot seeing me turn into Creed and then eating snacks afterward. Call it ratchet I call in sweet victory !

Anyways , I no longer speak to this demon nor have I seen them in years. When I tell it was a complete methadone clinic, cold turkey,cold shower, purge, and Beyonce album -move on it was. I was totally enthralled with their presence,our time together, the security , and how they seemed to think I was so amazing .... the only problem is ... so did about 5+ other ladies. Whom played part in the demise of a great friendship.

In hindsight ,it was "Lethario"'s role and obsession for admiration from ladies due to the lack of self control and self worth without a vagina or bath & bodywork fragrances.That I learned later to have my confidence lessened, social anxiety worsened, and ability to the see the great in people I have a relationship with for years. You really think you know a person .....wait until you are in a group setting and there is alcohol!!!!!!! The truth and announcements of the creations of lies come out . The group setting ,alcohol , and women ...a lot of them caused one of the worst nights of my life. It was a celebration !I was there supporting one of my best friends ,another year of his life. I was so excited to see my other best friend whom I love dearly . I have never been in love before but if that was any ounce of it .....God help me ,Girl !. Kids, grandmas , co -workers, and unknown friends were present which in my upbringing,you behave to the upmost and give off great energy. Well those rules were no where to be found in anyone but me that night . As I still get the sage and crystals to not have the same dreams as the last few days ,present day , I wont go into toooo much detail. I have told my therapists.. 3 of them ..and my best friends ..I bore my soul and its a trigger for me . The night ended with unknown girl #6 telling me about her sex-capades & claim on my former lover ....

For the people in the back , if you had known someone for close to 10 years and there has been six ladies calling, showing up to your job, giving you details about your relationship with this person that they shouldn't know. They went out of their way ...I mean from another state/city to tell me how they have now claimed this former lover. Meanwhile , we are in different states, do not talk as often, dating other people, came out the closet...again.There was a lot of life going on but the love never left.Until that night.I prayed and held them to the upmost respect. The calmness was always a haven for me , just being physically close to them I knew nothing can "touch me " Romantically it never worked out but I always wished love and happiness for them . Genuinely . I checked on them often, pried a bit make sure they spoke about their life and experiences. ...now to be reminded 5 years later that they are the enemy . ..

Pt.2 coming soon ...once I sing "Resentment " and "I Care(Roseland )" one more time and calm tf down : (

My grandmother passed in 2018 which was the year of soul's transformation for me .

I literally felt her spirit invade my body which was a spiritual awakening that I won't forget .

The willingness to help anyone in need ,be a voice for the invisible,and always know /act/dress like she was my Granny.

I still have flashbacks of my first and last girdle that hot ,summer night we went to a tent service in the edge of Mississippi/Louisiana. It had to be made in 1912 right before the Titanic was heard to go to America ....take that back out asses weren't allowed in there and thank god for that . Anyways shopping was her amazing skill and her style was always her own and multi faceted.

Every woman in my family can still remember all types of lessons of style and womanhood she taught

That being said ...I would never ever ever be caught handling business in pajama's,a bonnet,fluffy house shoes ,my hair not together ,no Vaseline,crusty lips ,too little clothes ,and neither would my kids/cousins/neice /and nephew.

She would get out of her glitter casket ,yes it glitters and it's pink🔥 and beat my ass until kingdoms come then have me throw all the stuff she doesn't like out .

Everyone may think differently in the black community but I like decent and in order .You can look perfect all the time but I would be damned if I look as if I rolled out of bed and went straight to te bank then a pta meeting .

No mame .How you present yourself means everything do not let these fuckers tell you anything less .Also when you look good ,you feel good .You don't need a lot of money to style yourself for thrifting is one of my favorite hobbies ! In the same token you can't look busted ,willingly and have the new I phone or car and ya kids look unkept .

There are so many ,please feel free to share if you can relate,WHO HAVE TRAUMA FROM NOT BEING KEPT (hygienic,nutritious,etc) BEING THAT THE ADULTS IN THEIR LIFE NEGLECTED TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF WHICH MY GRANDMOTHER INSTILLED IN US.

Again,where what you want but honey I know better and respect the lineage of Fly & Stylish my ancestors have blessed me with .


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Don't Fall for the F u*%K BOY/GIRL/THEM

It's so damn easy to fall back into their sh$t isn't it ? When you have a lover from the past reach out .... you never know what you are going to get. Not that damn good sounding chocolate that Forrest Gump was talking about . Ill take that anyday , but the questioning of your self and /or the intentions can drive you to drink. Thank goodness I am of sober living. I wont go to far into the tale for the title speaks for itself but what the entire , GAY F*#CK?

The mindgame that women play is incredibly annoying yet so easy to fall into . ITs the lips for meeeeeeee! No seriously , if you listen to a woman and her physical notions ..they can entice you to do or believe anything . The facts are facts though. If she lacks physical affections, goes days without talking to you , calls only in distress, and or starts with the phrase " HEy stranger " ... grab your heels and run.

Recently, I ended up keeping my heels on just to see if it can be a true authentic friendship . For , the love line was cut really short 2 years ago and i was ill about that . See the thing with me is that any love I have had....love other women a little too much. Even the baddest chick can question themselves when it reaches 20 times! Well lets just say that the proof is in the pudding aka SOCIAL MEDIA IS ALL THE PROOF FOR THOSE WHO LACK SENSE> When you want to put on a show or let people know you are "OUTSIDE" just remember the lies you tell and to cover your tracks.

When people show you .....HEFFA PLEASE TAKE NOTE> don't disappoint Athena and Cupid for they have the best lover in mind for you you . It aint you ,its never you, aint nothing wrong with you , you couldn't have done anyting better. Hell, there is no greater thing i could have done except TAKE THE HEELS OFF AND RUN TOWARDS THE SUN.

The League of Playaz will always be around. No mater the generation or sexuality. They are an infestation that we have to deal with when we are playing in the field of romance. Just dont water down YOURSELF nor The RAID to kill them b*#@hes!

Now, lets all watch TWILIGHT /Jasons' Lyric and eat snacks until Bumble Notifications come.


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